The Miracle in my Miscarriage...
Honestly, my husband and I thought I was just constipated. I mean it happens to the best of us right? Sometimes you need to go but you just can't. You see, I had surgery on my intestines as a baby due to some type of 'number 2' issues. So as I got older, I still couldn't quite get a regular schedule going like most folk (unless I ate right) lol... But anyway, I know this is a lot of personal information but I am trying to set the tone here. Just stay with me.
It was the evening of July 31, 2018 when the pain initially started. I remember husband and I were sitting at the table finishing dinner and the pain just hit me out of nowhere. Well, since husband knows my 'number 2' issues, he laughed and said, "you just need to go take a.......)" SORRY MAMA, but that's what he said! So I tried that. NOTHING.
August 1, 2018 I had a great peaceful day taking care of a few errands and waiting for the arrival of my new Finicky designed shoes 'Kandie-Girl' to be delivered to my front door. Life was great that day! Then BOOM! That evening the pain returned. I tried to use the restroom again, but at this point it hurt to even sit on the toilet. The pain in my stomach and my back....sweet baby Jesus!! DEBILITATING! So in a "woman with the issue of blood" kind of way, I walked down the hall, got in the bed, and called husband. He came, rubbed my back and stomach, and called his aunt who's an OBGYN. After explaining the symptoms and my history of 'number 2' issues, we all thought that if I could just USE THE BAAATTHHRROOMM it'll all be over. But I couldn't. The pain intensified. I tossed and turned all night while in my husband's arms, that is until I had to vomit.
August 2, 2018. Another great day! Kandie-Girl arrived and I was out and about trapping Finicky shoes from the trunk of the Benz. At this point, I was doing a little spotting here and there, so I'm thinking to myself, "Bingo! My cycle is about to come on!" Meanwhile, Pastor Mommy prophesied that I might be pregnant. I smiled at the thought but immediately ignored that idea because truly I thought I couldn't get pregnant (or not without the help of my doctor). I mean Husband and I hadn't been trying trying, but we weren't trying to prevent it either. LOL...Nothing ever happened. Back to the story though, I remember 5 min after my last shoe drop off, I was pulling into my driveway when the sharp pain hit me like an 18 wheeler. I literally had to sit in the car for minutes at a time. Once I prayed up enough strength, I went straight in to the bed after removing everything that touched the areas where I felt the most pain. My husband came home and sat with me as I cried out to The Lord to find me worthy enough to take the pain away. Next, I did what any girl would do, I called my mommy. She advised us to go to the emergency room. By this time I'd vomited 3x's and felt like I was dying.
After hours of waiting, they finally called me to the back, asked a few questions, put husband and I in a waiting room, and gave me some medicine from heaven that put me straight to sleep! #PraiseGod... What felt like only seconds later, the nurse came back in and asked, "Is there any chance you could be pregnant?" Without hesitation, I said, "NO." He looked at me and said, "Congratulations! You're pregnant!" and walked out. I looked at husband with tears in my eyes, and he gone say, "Congrats Congrats!!" with a big grin on his face like he didn't have anything to do with this success story. I laughed and looked up at The Lord in awe. That's when husband grabbed my hand and begin to pray for us and our unborn child. Immediately following the prayer, he mentioned that he was ready to go back to work. I guess so that he could get some extra coin to take care of his family chile cause just me alone, is an investment. LOL.. Before I fell back off to sleep, I saw the shift from God in my husband that night. He was talking to God and mentally preparing himself for what was to come next.
The next time I opened my eyes, the doctors were throwing out words like, "possible miscarriage, HCG levels are low, Ectopic pregnancy, false pregnancy, pregnancy of unknown origin...etc" However, they wanted to give it a couple of days before making any decisions. At this point, I needed to hear what thus said The Lord chile. See what kind of words he was gone throw out.
August 3-7, 2018
Surprisingly, these days were the most refreshing days of my life! I went on a retreat (at my mother-in-love's home) with Jesus. I was treated like royalty. I had everything I needed, wanted, things I didn't know I needed or wanted, I had family around me, and loved ones sending beautiful text messages, prayers, and even calling me to check in although half of them didn't even know what was wrong until now- by reading this blog. My Pastor Mommy, my mother-in-love Sharon, my aunt Gail, my sister-cousin Samantha, my long time friend Kristin, my sister in Christ Conchetta and the husband of my prayers exemplified the love of Christ during this time, as well as what it looks like to touch and agree in prayer. However, it was during my alone time with Jesus where I found joy, peace, and comfort in knowing that no matter what God desires to do with his baby, GOD IS STILL GOOD. Don't get me wrong now, I prayed, I petitioned, and even went on a fast (that my husband wasn't too excited about cause he wanted his baby to eat good chile!) but I needed to be at the feet of Jesus and however that looked, I was willing. I read pregnancy devotionals, the prayers sent through text messages, I revisited prophesies from peers in Christ that I'd printed out months before, and of course I read the bible like never before during this time. It was so rewarding ya'll. I even talked to, prayed with, and read things out loud to Baby Smith. Not to mention August 7th is one of me and my husband's anniversaries. So surely I wanted to gift him with our precious little bundle of joy from God. :-)
August 8, 2018
God called Baby Smith back home...
Though I was sad, I had so much peace in knowing that "...the Lord gives and the Lord taketh away...(Job 1:21)" Nevertheless, "all things work together for the good of those who Love the Lord and are called according to his purpose.(Romans 8:28)" And it is with great joy that I rebuke(d) the lie of the enemy. I can get pregnant without the help of any doctor (unless Jesus see fit) and I will have all of my husband's babies -as long as it is in God's will! But let me just be honest here because I need ya'll to touch and agree. I been trying to pray this into God's will or see if it's already there, but I haven't gotten my answer yet. So I need ya'll to say it with me during your prayer time, "Zakell & Vantashi Smith will have a set of TWINS." Amen! LOL....
Thanks for reading!